Dreaming of the past (the past past)

At the Women and Girls conference one of the speakers talked about how autistic women and girls like to escape to a fantasy world to avoid the difficulties that being autistic can bring in this world. This world can be anything- one made up completely from their imagination, one found in a book etc, but for quite a few its the Victorian period that they escape to.

This strongly resonated with me. While clearly not winning any awards for most feminist period, it was a time that was presented as simpler for women and as an autistic girl, undiagnosed, at times that seemed like a dream. Continue reading “Dreaming of the past (the past past)”

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Conference recovery

Having attended the National Autistic Society’s Women and Girls conference on Tuesday, today I am officially tired. As it was all the way up in Manchester (I have been North more times in the last 10 months than the rest of my life put together), I had a 4.20am alarm.

Follow this with the stress of travelling, the even stressier stress of making my way through Manchester to the conference and then a day of learning and tweeting and socialising, and it was all in all a very exhausting day. A day I would do again in a heart beat, maybe tweeting a little less, but exhausting.  Continue reading “Conference recovery”

Decision making

I like to think that I tend to make good decisions. My never slowing brain is constantly considering all the possible options and ways forward, so when it comes to decision making, I think things through and consider all the possible options and make a decision based on that.

A lot of that goes on in my head- it’s not evident to those around me as there’s no logical working to be done. My mother has commented on this on more than once occasion: “you did jump into this very quickly”, “you didn’t really take your time and think it through” and so on. This tends to only come up should I not be too pleased about a choice I made though – the apparently quickly made good decisions are not to be questioned.  Continue reading “Decision making”

Smaller steps

About a month ago now, I went to the doctor and said that I needed help to loose weight. Which was hard. I don’t ask for help. I provide help or I power on through. I have all the answers. And in this case my answer was a gastric band, but I didn’t like my answer. It answered sure, but it seemed so drastic, so absolute, final and life altering. But what other answers could there be? I had tried to loose weight before but it had just gone down a bit and then wooosh up it goes again.  Continue reading “Smaller steps”

Hide and seek life lessons

Yesterday I spent the day with my whole extended family (my mother’s side) celebrating my grandparent’s 60th Wedding Anniversary. Pretty Impressive really. There were about 16 of us ranging from 3 days old (brand new cousin) to 87 years old, all in 2 generations of family.

Family is lovely sure, and I do like spending time with them, but boy is it exhausting. People asking the same questions, talking over each other, posturing and attacking with passive aggressive criticisms and replies. Family time.  Continue reading “Hide and seek life lessons”

Where did I put my friends?

I have friends, I definitely have friends. Friend friend friendly friends, I have all the friends

For those of you who don’t, watch Crazy ex-girlfriend. It is a brilliant show that covers mental illness, relationships and self worth beautifully whilst being pretty funny and a musical.

For me, the key ‘this is my life moment’ came early on when the main character is planning a party and has no one to invite. A couple of episodes later she goes to the cinema on her own and again feels her lack of friends. Continue reading “Where did I put my friends?”